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Moving on to Middle School

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Starting Middle school can stir up a mix of emotions – both for kids and parents. Elementary school was such a nurturing place where little people scooted around campus in neat, quiet lines.  The cafeteria was filled with chatter and Pokemon lunchboxes, and parents were welcome to stop by to have lunch with their child!  Kids spent the day with one teacher – a teacher who new everything about them (and probably their family, too!).  Everyone mingled with the same classmates throughout the year, allowing for many close friendships to form.  Elementary school instilled a sense of comfort in kids as well as parents.   

Having graduated from 5^th grade, your child is now moving on to Middle school.  The excitement of completing Elementary school and heading off to new adventures often soon gives way to apprehension and anxiety.  The thought of this transition can evoke many concerns: 

New School- New Friends

Most likely, many of the kids from Elementary school scattered to different Middle schools.  This means that your child may no longer be attending school with some of his old classmates.  New faces will fill the halls and classrooms.  The unfamiliarity of his new environment can be stressful.  How will they ever get through lunchtime without their best friend by their side (parents, having lunch with your 6^th grader is NOT the solution here)?  Who will they hang out with before the first bell rings?  You (and your child) will probably be pleasantly surprised at how quickly new friendships will be formed!

Where is . . . ?

Many new Middle-schoolers envision themselves wandering aimlessly through crowded halls in search of a classroom, office, or bathroom!  Getting lost is a common fear of children moving on to Middle school.  Middle schools are usually larger than Elementary school, making getting around a bit overwhelming.  Sure, they start school with a map, but how do they know where to go if they don’t even know where they are to begin with?  Parents wonder how their child will ever find their way to class when he/she can’t seem to locate the hamper at home!  Rest assured that school personnel are well aware of this issue and are very supportive and understanding.  Within days, our child will know his way around school like the back of his hand!

Changing Classes – A BIG Change!

The biggest change kids experience in Middle school is figuring out how to get from one class to the next – all within 6 minutes!  To complicate matters, the classes are at complete opposite ends of the campus, a stop is required at the locker for a change of supplies and a bathroom break is necessary!  Is it physically possible to cover that much territory in the allotted time?  Then there are the teachers – all six of them!  No sooner are kids comfortable with their Math teacher, 50 minutes later it’s time to move on and meet the Science teacher.  Each teacher has his/her own requirements and rules.  How will kids ever get settled into 6 different classes?  Will your child, who can’t seem to follow your directions, ever be able to listen to 6 different adults?  As impossible as it may seem, your child will learn what to expect from each teacher and eventually even form relationships with many of them.  Dealing with this daily diversity will be an enriching experience for your child.

The “In” Crowd

“Fitting in” can be a concern among new Middle schoolers.  Knowing what to wear or how to act are often issues with kids who recently shared a cafeteria with 6 year-olds and are now expected to co-exist with kids whose hormones have obviously kicked in!   HealthTex is out and Hollister is in! Be aware that wardrobe anxiety can set in well before the first day of school – usually when you’re doing your school clothes shopping!   Expect some personality changes (not all of them being pleasant) and know that your sense of fashion may no longer be compatible with that of your child! 

How will we get through this?

Believe it or not, as scary as this experience may sound, your family will adjust and move on!  Everyone eventually survives (and even enjoys) the Middle school transition – have you ever heard of a sixth-grader returning to Elementary school?  Here are some suggestions to help in the Middle school move:

To begin with . . .

Keep in mind that not only is your child changing schools, he/she is also undergoing physical and psychological changes.  With entering Middle school comes the introduction of adolescence.  Before you run screaming into the street, understand that your support is imperative at this time.  Your child (and you) will be dealing with a wide range of emotions and issues.  But also know that there will be times when, though you are trying your hardest to be a great parent, your advice, suggestions, or input will not be popular with your child.  Having said that, your family should enter into Middle school with open doors, minds, and hearts!

Communication

Listen, listen, and listen some more!  Keeping lines of communication open gives your child a chance to blow off steam and vent emotions, express concerns (many of which you may be unaware of), and help ensure a healthy parent-child relationship.  However, it is also important to mention that knowing when to voice your opinion or share advice is equally important in communicating. 

Organization

Yes, moving on to Middle school will require some changes.  Kids will learn that organization is the key to making this a smoother transition - organization not only at school, but also at home.  The following suggestions can help your child get on track:

ü       Get as many supplies as possible prior to the start of school.   Granted, many teachers will not provide supply lists until after the first day, but don’t send your child to school without something to write with and on.

ü       Lunch boxes and backpacks may no longer be required for Middle school so make sure you have approved alternatives.  Many schools no longer allow a backpack so replace it with a small bag (the sling-kind with a drawstring works great) or some type of trapper keeper.  Your child will need some place to keep pencils, calculators, personal items, etc.  Lunch boxes, although not forbidden by schools, are often no longer acceptable to your child!  Toss the Jimmy Neutron lunchbox and stock up on plain paper lunch sacks.  Yes, the paper can become soggy from the drink’s condensation causing the sack to rip, but this is way more cool than toting a character box around the cafeteria!  As a compromise, send the lunch in a paper bag but allow your child to purchase a drink from the cafeteria.

ü       Check out all the great locker accessories.  Middle school lockers serve as not only as a supply closet, but also double as the center of social activity so it’s important that they be functional AND cool.  Shelves, mirrors, picture frames, magnetic supply caddies, and much more can help keep lockers organized.

ü        At home, make sure there is a designated space for incoming school papers (newsletters, report cards, graded papers, etc.).  Check this bin daily so that “signature required” papers are given proper attention.  Make certain your child is aware that it is his/her responsibility to place papers in the bin. 

ü       Also set aside a space for doing homework.  Many adolescents prefer to do their homework in their own room.  It is a good idea to provide a desk area complete with good lighting, supplies, and a calendar so that assignments, events, and due dates can be logged.

As you may have noticed, much of the organizational duties will now fall on your child. Let your child take charge and resist the urge “hand-hold” (their teachers certainly expect your child to be responsible and do not have time to individually guide each of their 150 students!).   Establishing routines and responsibility will help your child be self-sufficient and, therefore, self-confident and successful in Middle school.

Visit

Watch for the Open House notice.  Almost all Middle schools host an evening of exploration – usually within a week of the start of school.  DON’T miss this!  This event will be extremely beneficial in helping calm Middle school jitters.  Many schools offer the opportunity to visit classrooms, meet teachers, obtain supply lists, and generally become familiar with your child’s new school.  Make this a family event and celebrate the accomplishment of your child!  Please note that this is not the time to have personal conversations with teachers.  Schedules are usually tight and there is not enough time for teachers to discuss each child’s personal issues.  Wait until after the start of school (or send in a note on the first day for pressing issues) to address your child’s situation.

Support and Encourage

Be supportive of your child’s move to Middle school.  This includes addressing any concerns your child may have, as trivial as they may seem to you.  Making light of an issue can shut down communication and bring more anxiety to your child.  Have your child discuss Middle school and share your fond Middle school memories.  Reply honestly when your child has specific concerns such as room changing or meeting new people, but try not to inject your opinion – let your child experience and form his/her own point of view. 

Also be sure to mention all the positives of Middle school:

ü       Meeting new people is a great opportunity to form new friendships. 

ü       Encourage your child to join a club that coincides with a personal interest or even try something new. 

ü       While your child will be required to become more responsible, with this comes much more freedom.  Remind them that only elementary students need to be supervised in the cafeteria.  Many Middle schools allow students to “hang out” in a courtyard or even shoot hoops during lunchtime.   

ü       Changing classes gives them the chance to say a quick hello to a friend they pass in the hall. 

ü       Attending different classes lets them learn from different teachers who teach with varied methods.  Though they don’t know it (or won’t admit it), this will lay a good foundation for high school and beyond. 

ü       Middle schools host lots of fun activities such as dances, pep rallies, and other special events. 

Moving on to Middle school can sound like a turbulent journey.  But if approached with a positive attitude, preparation and support, attending a new school can be start of a new chapter in your family’s life.

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